But Mommy, That’s Not Fair

Get Over It Kid, Who Ever Said Life Was Fair

I think parents need to rethink how the raise their children. Life isn’t fair, it’s a fact. There is no simpler way to say it and I’m sure most people have experienced some sort of example of life not being fair. When we are young and growing up, our parents try very hard to be “fair”. If there are two children they take turns playing with something only one child at a time can play with. If there are six children and a dozen cookies, each child gets two and if there were 14 cookies mom eats the two that remain…hehe Point of the matter, we try to teach our children to be fair, the meaning of it and the reason for doing it, even though I would get, “just because it fair this way” for a reason most of the time. Then when the child grows up and leaves the nest, they get a big slap in the face of reality and find out, life isn’t fair. Are the children who strive to be fair, left standing in the dust of those who don’t care if their actions or choices are fair or not?

I have a really hard time understanding life when it’s just not fair. It’s really not fair! I know a lot of people will agree with me and we all tend to question why. Is it luck? Is it karma? Is it penance of some kind? Maybe it’s just seeing things differently than others. What you see, as being unfair, someone else may not see it as a question of fair or not.

Take something I really get upset about when I think about it. My divorce for instance, which I played by all the rules, obeyed court orders and even attempted to be very amicable, both before and after he filed for divorce. We were still living together, sleeping in the same bed until I felt unsafe. He claims is arm just flopped across my neck and he was sleeping. I knew better. Your not married to someone for nearly 20 years and not know their breathing patterns. He always fell asleep faster than I ever could, so I knew he was trying to hurt me. Anyway, I wanted things to go as smooth as possible and he wanted nothing more than to leave me with nothing. All because I couldn’t love a man I had no respect for. I could of stayed married to him, even though I didn’t love him, as long as he didn’t take advantage of me, which he had done for years. You can only allow someone you love to do that to you, without wanting to tell them “where they can go”. I told him to get a job or move out until he had a job and he chose to file for divorce. Sure explained why he was taking advantage of me, he didn’t care one bit about me, only about what I could do for him. I’d rather be alone, it’s a better kind of miserable. It wasn’t fair that he was the SOB that destroyed our family and caused everyone so much grief, yet he was the victorious one. All because he didn’t play fair, I was left with next to nothing, disabled, and having to pay him child support. Did I mention my attorney got arrested for being on drugs shortly after I hired her, Nope, life is not fair.

Well, Here I Am

I had to figure out a way to get things off my mind so I can make room for other things. Notions and Needs is a website dedicated to Home and Life. I decided it was time for a personal blog of sorts. I’ve always thought my life would make a good book, so decided I should start documenting thoughts, ambitions, events, activities and so on. I was very unhappy as I would write certain posts and it showed. Too much of what I was personally dealing with was interfering with my content. I don’t want that kind of content, yet when I started this site, it was because I wanted to help other people and feel I was still useful and could make some kind of contribution to this world. To give me something to do and maybe one day it would turn into something I could make a little money from along the way. Stranger things have happened.

After my first surgery, I really had the frame of mind to get on with my life, just as I had before, but it didn’t work out so hot. I didn’t know at the time I needed a second surgery either…didn’t help matters any. I knew I was in pain still, just figured it would get better in time. When I realized I just couldn’t do things I use to be able to do, it hit me hard and it was hard to admit. I’ve always been rather independent and instead of asking for help, if I could do it myself, I would try that route first. I know way too many people who don’t give it a thought, just ask for help before even considering doing it on their own. As a waitress for many years, so many I worked with would ask other servers to help them with their orders and as I would see it, it took them more time to explain what they needed than to just do it themselves. I’d never ask, unless I knew in advance I would need some help with large tables and have a slip of paper to hand over to anyone who would help get salads, drinks and such. To feel I needed help and could no longer consider myself independent, was hard to accept. At the time I was married and actually thought my husband could pick up the pieces, just as I did for him when he was out with an injury. I was sadly mistaken. Another example of life just not being very fair.

Below you will find a link to my monthly page(s). Each month will be clearly dated. Get to know me a little better, …yep, the good and the bad. Advise is always welcome, just leave a comment with the date you are responding to or directly to the post. Let me know if you want it kept private or it will be published upon approval. This is the life of a 50 year old divorced mother of 4, trying to figure out where I go from here, now that the game plan will never be what I intended it to be. No Cinderella story here, more like Cinderhella. (grins)

 

January-2016-The Beginning

The link above will take you to all my personal blog entries for 2016.

2017

The link above will take you to all my personal blog entries for 2017