January 2, 2016
-I took the evening off last night to spend some time with the only friend I have near me. It was a nice change of pace. It has been very hard to meet people and form any kind of friendship with them, since I moved to this area. When I lived up north I had friends I had gone through school with, friends I had met at various functions, friends I met through work and friends I had met through other friends. Well, I’m not at school, I don’t care to attend functions by myself, I work from home now, because I can’t hold a regular job with my health issues and I only have one friend that rarely leaves his house unless it’s to go to work. I’m in a bit of a pickle. Being the social person that I am, this is the hardest part of being alone. I can’t socialize, I hate being alone and I hate being lonely. Sure I have the kids, but it’s not the same as a peer. I’m the Who down in Whoville that is shouting “I am here, I am here”, but no one can here me, for I am but a spec of dust in this big wide world. If I were to vanish for a while, I bet it would take over a month before anyone noticed, except for my kids. At least I’m worth something to someone.
I worked on Notions and Needs for quite a while this morning. Had to update some SEO scores and work on my post announcing my Driftwood Art Pieces that I will be listing on eBay pretty soon. I’m feeling quite anxious about my financial situation and I rack my brain daily as to how I will be able to make ends meet. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can’t even trim things down to get free. There is simply nothing left to trim. I have the cheapest monthly housing payment I can possibly pay, I rarely buy retail for the things that we need, we go without our wants and I’m not about to get rid of the one thing that gives our family a great deal of joy….my boys. Our comical, loving, affectionate kitties.
I’d be okay if it came down to finding new homes for them, I have had to give up something much more precious to me before (my kids) and did everything I could to get them back and I did, because it’s what was best for them. The kids on the other hand, would simply not understand this concept and it would tear them to pieces to take away their kitties. I can’t do that to them, no more than I could give up my children because I can’t afford to keep them. Our kitties are members of our family, we do not abandon those we love. If I gave them away, we would never be able to get them back and that’s just no option I care to consider. Our family goes without a great deal, I can not and will not take away something my kids love or what brings us some companionship and happiness.
I’m going to keep publishing posts and pages to Notions and Needs and I’m going to keep searching high and low for products to sell. If I have to sell 400 items that I only make $1 from every month I can keep my head above the water line. However it’s also going to take capitol to purchase the inventory I want to sell. I’m taking the baby steps needed to achieve my goals, I just hope I can get there in time. I know one thing for sure, giving up is not an option.